job front

Ok, so I got laid off last month. Before we got laid off, a lot of my co-workers and I were talking about the fact that we probably wouldn't be able to find a job until after the holidays. (Many companies don't like to hire right before the holidays.)

So I'm trying to be ok with the fact that I've only had one interview, and it's been a month and I still don't have anything. My personal budget is ok, and will be ok for months, so fortunately it's not a case of the wolf being at the door.

Bernie (my soon to be ex) got laid off the week after I did. Evidently his job was paying him under the table or something, because when he went to file for unemployment, he was told he didn't have any. In many ways, I was more worried about his lack of job than mine. It took him *so long* to find a job last time. And he was homeless for a while before he found something. That was really hard on our son, but it would be much harder if it happened again. And I can't have him live here. So, I've been more stressed out about that than anything else in my life.

I went to sign up with Apple One on Wednesday. The guy that interviewed me sounded very encouraging, but the process, the way Apple One gets jobs for their temps, sounds very discouraging to me. Afterwards, I was pretty depressed, so I cut my hair. If I could have afforded it, I would have gotten a tattoo instead, but a haircut was at least affordable.

Later on that same day, I got a call from Bernie. He got a job and starts on Monday! Yay! My stress level has dropped noticeably.

Michael did a tarot reading about my job situation. I didn't know about it until he told me about it the next day. The reading was all pents, no surprise there :)

I'm applying to jobs like a mad thing, but just not getting any replies, except the form response of "We've received your application".

I really like my resume. But maybe I need to get an objective second opinion. I guess I'll try LA Works, and see what they have to say.

Great American Shakeout

I participated in the Great American Shakeout yesterday. I don't think "fun" is actually the best word to describe a massive earthquake drill, but yeah, it was fun.

Now I'm participating in AfterShock. It's the online "game" about what happens after the earthquake. It runs for about 3 weeks, I think.

laid off

Well, today was Lay Off Day at work and I'm now officially unemployed.

I plan on taking a week off, and then hit the job search circuit. If I start to get panicky about not being able to find a job, then I'll sign up with a temp agency. It worked last time I got laid off :)

I'm really hoping to get a job at a college/university so that Michael can go to school for free. I know he's got his heart set on CalTech, but there's no way I'll be able to afford that. I've got a lot of plans for the next few weeks, and I've started page one of my multi page "To Do" list.

But first, my week off.

just starting to see a difference

It's been a long time since I've been this weight. How long I can't tell you, because I haven't weighed myself for years. I've lost about 5% of my body weight, and I'm just starting to see a difference when I look in the mirror. I've been able to feel the difference in some of my clothes for a while now, but I haven't seen the difference on myself. And to be honest, I don't see it every time. Just once in a while I'll catch a view of myself in the mirror and notice a little difference.

I'm one third of the way to my second goal which is to drop from "obese" to "overweight" on the website. Just 18 more copies of "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows" to go! :)

Current state of affairs

Job: They laid off 12 more people two weeks ago. We're now down to 25. On the following Monday, they called what's left of us in and told us that we were going to be laid off sometime between now and November 30. I'm going to stay till they lay me off, because the severance package is good.

Weight: I've discovered that I'm a stress eater. My weight loss has slowed down. (Hm... do you think that entire chocolate cheesecake, the Hershey's Sundae Pie(s) from Burger King, all those frosted oatmeal cookies, the bag of tortilla chips, oh and the ice cream had anything to do with it?) However, I *am* still losing weight. I've now lost the equivalent of a little over 9 hard back copies of "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows" and I weigh less now than I have in 4 years.

Divorce: I've filed for divorce. I tried downloading the forms off the California website and doing myself (since we don't have any property and agree on how we're handling the custody issue). I was too intimated by the forms, so I went to Legal Action Workshop. $850 for the divorce. $320 for court filing fees. I downloaded a $50 off coupon from the LAW website, so that brings the divorce down to $800. $1,120 all together. Ulp.

progress report

I've now lost weight equal to almost 7 hardback copies of "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows". I'm 6'3", so I don't really *see* any difference yet. I do notice, however, that my clothes have stopped magically shrinking in the washing machine :)

One of the things I plan on doing is posting these kind of progress reports. Do I notice? What do I notice? Do other people notice?

Of course, Randy is losing weight far faster than I am. He doesn't weigh himself, but his clothes are looser and people (me and others) can see it on him. Well, that's guys for you :)

On the other hand, we're not *really* dieting. We've made a few, very small, changes to what we eat. I tried adding some exercise (just a little walking) to my daily routine, but only made it once so far. I'm hoping that as summer progress I'll have more exercise in the pool. *That* is fun :)

Back up plans

I'm the kind of person who creates back up plans for my back up plans. And they'd work great, if only I remembered them!

I'm fully expecting to get laid off from work in the next few months. (My money is on August.) That means that Michael and I will be without health insurance until I get medical benefits through my next job. So, my back up plan is to order three month's worth of meds at once. (My health plan will let me do that with most of my meds.) My back up plan for my back up plan is to check out Walmart's $4 generic drug plan. However, I totally forgot about the Walmart $4 meds back up/back up plan and was busy stressing out about one of my meds possibly not getting covered by my insurance. It ended up being covered, so I didn't need to rember the Walmart plan, but still... What's the point of all this planning if I don't remember it? (Oh, and my back up plan for my back up/back up plan is to get Michael's state health insurance reactivated after I get laid off.)

When I get laid off, I'm going to join a temp agency or two (that worked really well for me the last time I got laid off). I'm also going to check out some local work options. If I could get a job closer to home that would let me take Michael to school in the morning, that would be ideal.

one month update

Ok, I've been on this diet for 30 days. Results? I'm losing about a pound a week, which was my goal. Looking at the blue graph line steadily moving down is really helpful. If I were looking at just the scale, I think I would have given up the first week :)

So, my one month verdict is that I find this easy to live with and meets my goals.

Denial, body image, fear of failure

I took my "before" pictures today. One thing that I see most often over at Physics Diet is that people lose weight and they really regret not having a "before" picture. I try to learn from the experiences of others, so I took my "before" pictures today. (One front and one side. Maybe I should have done one from the back, too...hmm...)

This was a big step, and a lot harder than I thought it would be. First of all, there's the body image problem. I have an image of what I look like in my head, and it doesn't match what I see in pictures. Denial? Body dysmorphia (or whatever it's called)? I'm not sure. But I do feel a sense of release having a record of how I really look, right now. (No, I'm not sharing those pictures until I have some "during" or "after" pictures to post with them.)

Another big reason I was putting off doing this, is that I'm afraid I will fail in my attempt to lose weight. Like taking "before" pictures means I'm taking it for granted that I will have "after" pictures. Jinxing it, or something. I have that same kind of fear about journaling about this year's weight loss focus, too. I'm afraid (and have some past experiences to back it up) that *talking* about something actually prevents me from doing/finishing it. So I guess I'm working on that, too.

The good news is that using the Physics Diet website is really working for me. I love looking at the chart of my average weight, and seeing how much green is on there. Watching that blue trend line moving downwards is greatly encouraging. It's really helping me to "not break the chain". And that is what is helping me realize that this time, it will be different. Don't break the chain.